“Jesus lived in constant confrontation and conflict with the world around Him, because kingdom logic goes against carnal logic.” –Bill Johnson in The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind
A renewed mind and an undivided heart. That is what came to me this morning as I spent some time with Jesus. Last year I felt like my whole year always went back to the theme of Newness and Change. This year I think it may be about having a Renewed Mind and an Undivided Heart. What does that even mean?
I have been feeling at conflict with the world around me the last few months…not in the sense that I am fighting with everyone or thing around me but more in the sense that I am beginning to feel like I don’t belong to the world around me. I live in an RV and most of the people I know think I am crazy. Am I crazy? Or am I just a girl trying to follow her Creator? I know my life doesn’t make much sense to some people at times and when I step back and take a look at it, I wonder what is going on sometimes too. And I know that I can’t tell you where I will be or what my plans are this week or that, because I just don’t know…I always joke with my mom that I am on a need to know basis with the Lord, and I don’t need to know. But I am called to have an undivided heart and that to me, means that I follow after the Lord no matter the cost and I seek His kingdom. I am afraid that the cost is high but what right do I have to complain when Jesus paid the ultimate high price through his death…for me. He died for me. So people think I am crazy or they think that what I am doing is really cool but is not for them. What am I doing other than trying to run after Jesus with my whole heart? I am nothing special, I am doing nothing special. But I am at conflict with the world around me because I think I am starting to gain an understanding of kingdom logic and it really doesn’t fit with carnal logic. It sometimes hurts to move away from carnal logic and embrace Jesus’ way of thinking. People sometimes don’t understand, they want me to just be normal. I can’t. I can’t be normal in the way that my culture and society expect me to be normal.
My heart feels a little broken as I hand my heart and mind over to Jesus to be renewed. I am broken but I want to see Jesus in this world…in the world that is around me.
“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” –Psalm 86:11
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Change
This fall I decided I had had enough of our ugly ghetto looking RV. We have done a lot of work to the inside of it but not much to the outside. Our RV is old…it’s an ’83 and was originally done up in burnt orange and browns. Sometime in the 90’s the previous owner decided to give our little RV a makeover and everything went from orange to teal. And the outside was given a new paint job into cream, nail polish pink and a lovely shade of green (okay not lovely at all). Along with that were the few rust spots and the few places my husband did a quick fix job on a few holes to keep the mice out. Needless to say…it was ugly! So we had a few weeks of down time in Alabama and at our friend Lorie’s house so we painted the outside of our little RV home. Here are the before and after pictures:
You know sometimes change is hard. I like change, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy to go through or that it doesn’t take some time to adapt to the newness but life would be so boring without it….maybe even ugly without ever allowing a new coat of paint to be added.
You know sometimes change is hard. I like change, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy to go through or that it doesn’t take some time to adapt to the newness but life would be so boring without it….maybe even ugly without ever allowing a new coat of paint to be added.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Resting
This year has been full. We have traveled this year more than we have in any other year. And I am tired. I know we have had some down time. I had a month of staying with my parents in October while Ben was up in North Dakota working on the sugar beet harvest. But for me, there is something that is not restful when I am around or staying with other people. It is not the other people, it is me. I am an introvert to the core of my being. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like people. I love people, I love hanging out with people. However, it does mean that I get my energy from being alone and having alone time. Since we have been traveling so much I haven’t had the chance to get much alone time and I felt like I had hit a wall of sorts. I had become very emotional and tired and was beginning to feel like I couldn’t function. So Ben and I headed to our friend’s land in Alabama, and it has been just what I needed. We are parked out in an old horse coral. We have plenty of space to feel like we are on our own, yet have friends here as well and have a sense of our neighbors and friends being close by. It is perfect.
I think I have been going through a time of reassessing what I am doing with my life and what I want to do with my life. I have been thinking about how Ben and I live in an RV and it is hard sometimes to not have a permanent place to live. At the same time, I love to travel and don’t think it’s time for us to give that up. I had a friend say recently that we need to do what is best for Ben and I. That was really good to hear because I don’t think I had ever thought about what was best for Ben and I. It now feels really good to take that into consideration and begin to ponder what the best is for us. So this is not a blog saying that we are doing this or that. I don’t know what we are doing other than following the path that the Lord has set before us and right now that is traveling with the Jesus Kitchen and I am really looking forward to heading back out in February. In the meantime, we are heading to Georgia for Thanksgiving and then we’ll head to Massachusetts, then back to Minnesota for Christmas and to work a bit before hitting the road again.
I think I have been going through a time of reassessing what I am doing with my life and what I want to do with my life. I have been thinking about how Ben and I live in an RV and it is hard sometimes to not have a permanent place to live. At the same time, I love to travel and don’t think it’s time for us to give that up. I had a friend say recently that we need to do what is best for Ben and I. That was really good to hear because I don’t think I had ever thought about what was best for Ben and I. It now feels really good to take that into consideration and begin to ponder what the best is for us. So this is not a blog saying that we are doing this or that. I don’t know what we are doing other than following the path that the Lord has set before us and right now that is traveling with the Jesus Kitchen and I am really looking forward to heading back out in February. In the meantime, we are heading to Georgia for Thanksgiving and then we’ll head to Massachusetts, then back to Minnesota for Christmas and to work a bit before hitting the road again.
Monday, November 14, 2011
West Coast Tour: Endings
The last leg of our journey consisted of a fun adventure to the Grand Canyon. Neither Ben nor I had ever been there before and it was quite amazing. It looks fake! And there was so much about it to take in…I would love to go back someday and take a trip rafting down the Colorado River or take a hike down into the canyon itself.
From there we wandered through the Painted Desert and into Utah to take a look at Arches National Park. The desert is such a beautiful place in its own right. I had never really desired to go to a desert because it’s too hot for me…and it was hot but it has a beauty all its own and I’m glad we took a little journey into it to see it.
From there we landed at our friend Jodi and Louise’s house in Colorado. They are a wonderful couple from one of the other Christian kitchens at the Gatherings that we go to. They spoiled us while we were with them…by giving us good food to eat, good food for our souls and lots of adventure. We drove over a 13,114 foot mountain in an old suburban truck, went for beautiful day drives and went horseback riding in the mountains.
We were truly blessed while we were on this trip. We had lots of adventure and got to see so much of God’s beautiful creation. I don’t think I will ever forget this trip…the trip the Lord said to go on and it was cool to see Him not only in His creation but in His people as well. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing and we are so encouraged and blessed by it!
From there we wandered through the Painted Desert and into Utah to take a look at Arches National Park. The desert is such a beautiful place in its own right. I had never really desired to go to a desert because it’s too hot for me…and it was hot but it has a beauty all its own and I’m glad we took a little journey into it to see it.
From there we landed at our friend Jodi and Louise’s house in Colorado. They are a wonderful couple from one of the other Christian kitchens at the Gatherings that we go to. They spoiled us while we were with them…by giving us good food to eat, good food for our souls and lots of adventure. We drove over a 13,114 foot mountain in an old suburban truck, went for beautiful day drives and went horseback riding in the mountains.
We were truly blessed while we were on this trip. We had lots of adventure and got to see so much of God’s beautiful creation. I don’t think I will ever forget this trip…the trip the Lord said to go on and it was cool to see Him not only in His creation but in His people as well. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing and we are so encouraged and blessed by it!
Friday, November 11, 2011
West Coast Tour: California
I have to say that California, as a state, is not my favorite of places. However, some of the most wonderful people I know live there! We spent a loooooooong time in California…most of our trip out west was actually spent here. Here is a synopsis of what we did:
Went to the Redwood Forest, visited friends in Eureka, went to the Lord’s Land (it is now a YWAM base but used to be a Hippie-Christian commune and all the little cabins are made with amazing carpentry and are beautiful), went back to Eureka to visit the same friends as before, went to Redding to visit Bethel Church, spent a couple nights resting at a ministry just outside of San Francisco, went to San Francisco to visit our lovely friends at Outer Circle, went to Bakersfield where we spent a month with our friends Bryan and Emily (really Emily kidnapped us for that long… : ) ok, not really, but it was super fun to be there!), we met an amazing church family at Hingepoint church, went to the Sequoia National Park and saw the biggest tree in the world, visited Wes and Nica in LA AND went to Disneyland.
Wow. That was a lot of stuff in the five weeks that we were in California. But all of it was wonderful and we had such a blast!
Went to the Redwood Forest, visited friends in Eureka, went to the Lord’s Land (it is now a YWAM base but used to be a Hippie-Christian commune and all the little cabins are made with amazing carpentry and are beautiful), went back to Eureka to visit the same friends as before, went to Redding to visit Bethel Church, spent a couple nights resting at a ministry just outside of San Francisco, went to San Francisco to visit our lovely friends at Outer Circle, went to Bakersfield where we spent a month with our friends Bryan and Emily (really Emily kidnapped us for that long… : ) ok, not really, but it was super fun to be there!), we met an amazing church family at Hingepoint church, went to the Sequoia National Park and saw the biggest tree in the world, visited Wes and Nica in LA AND went to Disneyland.
Wow. That was a lot of stuff in the five weeks that we were in California. But all of it was wonderful and we had such a blast!
Monday, September 19, 2011
West Coast Tour: Oregon
After the Rainbow Gathering, a few of us (5 to be exact plus the cat) piled into our mini-van and headed to Oregon. We were on our way to visit my friend Sarah from college, in Salem and ended up camping out behind our friend Heather’s house for a night, which was a lot of fun to see her!
After that we finally made it to Sarah’s house. It had been 2 years since I had seen Sarah, so it was wonderful to see her again! She let us all camp out in her house and spoiled us to death with food and kindness. We were truly blessed by Sarah and her husband Troy. While we were visiting Sarah we stopped by her parent’s house to say hello and low and behold, there was Wanda (Sarah’s mom) making me a beautiful rug on her loom. I was amazed and we all got to try our hand at the loom…what a wonderful way to work on getting your aggression out as you bang on the loom! No, really, it was great you, should try it sometime!
After Sarah’s we drove around all of Oregon. Not really but it felt like it. We headed towards the beach, where we spent a couple days camped out and enjoyed Oregon’s rocky shoreline. Then we headed inland and spent a few days at some lake in the mountains, where Ben and I went canoeing and I thought to myself…I have never been canoeing and looking at snow capped mountains at the same time before. Spectacular!
The next day was our friend Angela’s birthday; she was one of the five traveling with us. So we drove up to Crater Lake, gazed at the beauty up there. Then, we headed towards a little fancy cheese shop and a chocolate shop. Of course we had to eat at Taco Bell (yuck) because it is Angela’s favorite (made the sacrifice for her!!).
After that we finally made it to Sarah’s house. It had been 2 years since I had seen Sarah, so it was wonderful to see her again! She let us all camp out in her house and spoiled us to death with food and kindness. We were truly blessed by Sarah and her husband Troy. While we were visiting Sarah we stopped by her parent’s house to say hello and low and behold, there was Wanda (Sarah’s mom) making me a beautiful rug on her loom. I was amazed and we all got to try our hand at the loom…what a wonderful way to work on getting your aggression out as you bang on the loom! No, really, it was great you, should try it sometime!
After Sarah’s we drove around all of Oregon. Not really but it felt like it. We headed towards the beach, where we spent a couple days camped out and enjoyed Oregon’s rocky shoreline. Then we headed inland and spent a few days at some lake in the mountains, where Ben and I went canoeing and I thought to myself…I have never been canoeing and looking at snow capped mountains at the same time before. Spectacular!
The next day was our friend Angela’s birthday; she was one of the five traveling with us. So we drove up to Crater Lake, gazed at the beauty up there. Then, we headed towards a little fancy cheese shop and a chocolate shop. Of course we had to eat at Taco Bell (yuck) because it is Angela’s favorite (made the sacrifice for her!!).
Thursday, September 15, 2011
West Coast Tour: The Rainbow Gathering
Our team finally arrived in Montana and met up with us. It was so wonderful to see them. Didn’t realize how much we had missed everyone taking off early. We spent a couple of days getting ourselves ready to head into the Gathering, and then we hopped in the bus and took off for South-Western Washington, where the Gathering was held this summer.
It was a very interesting year. Well, actually, it was a hard year for me. Ha! It started off with hiking in later in the day (we usually hike into the Gathering in the morning) and then on top of that…it rained! This was my 10th national Gathering and I have never had to hike into a Gathering in the rain. It wouldn’t have been so bad had it just been rain…but there were still snow banks taller than me all around…so the rain was COLD!! Needless to say we tried to hike in as fast as we could and get all our tents set up and our personal stuff brought in but by that time we were all soaked and our stuff was soaked and the sun was going down. BURR!! I attempted to make dinner for our team that night, but we had forgotten all the cooking utensils, so I made pasta with a tent pole…interesting.
We had a hard time getting ourselves together after that first day. We normally go into the National Gathering with almost 30 people on our team and this year we had 20. We normally have our kitchen set up and running by the afternoon of our 2nd day at the Gathering, and this year we were limping along and not completely set up by the 4th day that we were there. A few of us took turns being in charge of the cooking in the kitchen…which we normally do, but this year it was 10 straight hours of cooking in one day for each of us. I would try to have at least two meals cooking, beans in the pressure cooker cooking and two meals being prepared to cook with each meal serving at least 150 people. Not to mention having to make sure to get beans, lentils and rice soaking so that they would cook faster. Praise the Lord that we each had “Kitchen Monkey’s” (someone to help us do all the cooking for the day…thanks Michaela!!!!) this year! Usually by 2:30ish I would get delirious and not really know what I was doing…it truly was the grace of God that any food got made at all! Ha! This year I also learn how to use a saw and cut wood for our bonfires, yep, in 10 years I had never pick up a saw and I didn’t even cut any fingers off!
All this to say, I really learned that in our weakness God is strong! I learned that God can still move regardless of me. Praise the Lord because He is SO good! So even though I think it was a tough gathering and I really can’t remember all of the details because of delirium, I do know that God moved, people got to see Jesus in us and we got to love on the Rainbow Family!
Picture: Me cooking away in the Jesus Kitchen
It was a very interesting year. Well, actually, it was a hard year for me. Ha! It started off with hiking in later in the day (we usually hike into the Gathering in the morning) and then on top of that…it rained! This was my 10th national Gathering and I have never had to hike into a Gathering in the rain. It wouldn’t have been so bad had it just been rain…but there were still snow banks taller than me all around…so the rain was COLD!! Needless to say we tried to hike in as fast as we could and get all our tents set up and our personal stuff brought in but by that time we were all soaked and our stuff was soaked and the sun was going down. BURR!! I attempted to make dinner for our team that night, but we had forgotten all the cooking utensils, so I made pasta with a tent pole…interesting.
We had a hard time getting ourselves together after that first day. We normally go into the National Gathering with almost 30 people on our team and this year we had 20. We normally have our kitchen set up and running by the afternoon of our 2nd day at the Gathering, and this year we were limping along and not completely set up by the 4th day that we were there. A few of us took turns being in charge of the cooking in the kitchen…which we normally do, but this year it was 10 straight hours of cooking in one day for each of us. I would try to have at least two meals cooking, beans in the pressure cooker cooking and two meals being prepared to cook with each meal serving at least 150 people. Not to mention having to make sure to get beans, lentils and rice soaking so that they would cook faster. Praise the Lord that we each had “Kitchen Monkey’s” (someone to help us do all the cooking for the day…thanks Michaela!!!!) this year! Usually by 2:30ish I would get delirious and not really know what I was doing…it truly was the grace of God that any food got made at all! Ha! This year I also learn how to use a saw and cut wood for our bonfires, yep, in 10 years I had never pick up a saw and I didn’t even cut any fingers off!
All this to say, I really learned that in our weakness God is strong! I learned that God can still move regardless of me. Praise the Lord because He is SO good! So even though I think it was a tough gathering and I really can’t remember all of the details because of delirium, I do know that God moved, people got to see Jesus in us and we got to love on the Rainbow Family!
Picture: Me cooking away in the Jesus Kitchen
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