A Renewed Mind & An Undivided Heart

“Jesus lived in constant confrontation and conflict with the world around Him, because kingdom logic goes against carnal logic.” –Bill Johnson in The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind

A renewed mind and an undivided heart. That is what came to me this morning as I spent some time with Jesus. Last year I felt like my whole year always went back to the theme of Newness and Change. This year I think it may be about having a Renewed Mind and an Undivided Heart. What does that even mean?

I have been feeling at conflict with the world around me the last few months…not in the sense that I am fighting with everyone or thing around me but more in the sense that I am beginning to feel like I don’t belong to the world around me. I live in an RV and most of the people I know think I am crazy. Am I crazy? Or am I just a girl trying to follow her Creator? I know my life doesn’t make much sense to some people at times and when I step back and take a look at it, I wonder what is going on sometimes too. And I know that I can’t tell you where I will be or what my plans are this week or that, because I just don’t know…I always joke with my mom that I am on a need to know basis with the Lord, and I don’t need to know. But I am called to have an undivided heart and that to me, means that I follow after the Lord no matter the cost and I seek His kingdom. I am afraid that the cost is high but what right do I have to complain when Jesus paid the ultimate high price through his death…for me. He died for me. So people think I am crazy or they think that what I am doing is really cool but is not for them. What am I doing other than trying to run after Jesus with my whole heart? I am nothing special, I am doing nothing special. But I am at conflict with the world around me because I think I am starting to gain an understanding of kingdom logic and it really doesn’t fit with carnal logic. It sometimes hurts to move away from carnal logic and embrace Jesus’ way of thinking. People sometimes don’t understand, they want me to just be normal. I can’t. I can’t be normal in the way that my culture and society expect me to be normal.

My heart feels a little broken as I hand my heart and mind over to Jesus to be renewed. I am broken but I want to see Jesus in this world…in the world that is around me.

“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” –Psalm 86:11